Jobs and CareersSo, you want to make a change.
Well, in case you are new to this series of article, let me sum up where we are at in helping you and others make long-standing changes.
First I gave you an easy-to-remember analogy about habit development in your brain, aka, the Forest and Pathways in Your Brain. Now you know that you are going to have to get off of that pathway that leads to the same old behavior you want to stop engaging in.
And you now have the first few steps towards actually making change:
1. You know exactly what you want to change (You did write down a well defined change statement didn't you? I sure hope so. This is a really important step.)
2. You've maximized your commitment (That list of reasons why you want to change. What you'll gain by changing. No gain is too small to note).
3. You've begun to identify the thought patterns that prompt and/or support your old behavior.
Think "just one piece of cake won't hurt'? "
Think you "might win the lottery so spending money you don't really have will all work itself out later"?
Think you can get by with "just one more night of careless and random sex'? "
Think you'll "start that workout routine tomorrow night'? Or the next? Only the next never seems to arrive?
O.k. , now you are ready for the next steps.
Oh, wait! You said you'll just go cold turkey? You don't need all this foreplay; that you'll just make that change without this nonsense?
Well, more power to you superman (or superwoman).
But for the rest of us that have more difficulty giving up those bad habits, read on...
Step #4. Deeper thinking about your thinking.
Take a close look at each thought that you listed in step 3. These are called your triggers, because they trigger your negative behavior. They are like a gun firing the bullet that's hurting you. If you did a good job at writing them down, you should have quite a variety of triggers.
Here's your 2 tasks with those thoughts:
First, for each thought, make a note, beside each, of what's wrong with that thought. Does it procrastinate? Justify? Minimize? Is it blaming of others? What's wrong with it? Be honest with yourself. Do this with each and every one of them.
- Here's an example: I want to stop snacking at my desk. My trigger thought is, "What do I have in my cupboard that I can eat?" What's wrong with that is: I'm trying to fill my mouth with food when I really need something to fill my attention, or, I can't keep distracting myself from the fact that my job isn't fulfilling.
- Here's another example: My trigger thought is, "Just eating these cookies isn't going to hurt me. I'm already overweight." The problem with that is that I am minimizing reality. If I eat 1500 calories of junk food I will gain more weight. Then I have the weight I started with PLUS what those cookies added to loose.
Second, write at least one thing that you can replace that trigger thought with when it enters your mind again (and it will re-enter your mind).
- Make it a statement or action that will 'interrupt' that thought and take your mind to a more positive place.
- This replacement should be in line with what your overall change goal is.
- This is where that 'Pathway' analogy comes in. You see, that thought is like your first step on that 'pathway through the woods (your brain) towards your old behavior. Catching that initial thought and redirecting yourself IS THE KEY to changing. PLAN your replacement thoughts (and a replacement action is a great addition as well) and you'll be ready the next time temptation calls.
- Here's an example: My trigger thought is, "Eating these five cookies won't add more weight on." My replacement thought is, " Eating these cookies will make it harder to loose weight. That's 1500 more calories to burn. I will walk down the stairs once instead."
Step 5. Redirection
Here's the part that's hard. You have the information, you know what your trigger thoughts are and you have replacement thoughts already planned out. Every time you think a thought on your list (or another trigger thought) force yourself to think of the positive replacement thought.
Its not a bad idea to write notes to yourself, share your plan with a friend or seek out other supports to help redirect yourself. It will get tough before it gets easier. Just like walking through a forest, we prefer taking that already existing pathway. Creating new pathways are difficult. There's lots of brush to muddle through. But once we have engaged in our new thoughts and actions for some time, they will too become habits. See? You're just creating new pathways (habits), replacing old ones that don't take you where you want to be.
So NEVER stop trying. NEVER. Change will happen. Y ou just have to want it bad enough, plan for it well and then work for it diligently! And if you relapse into old behavior for a moment, that's ok! Just stop as soon as you recognize it and get back on the pathway to the YOU that you want and deserve to be!
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." Maria Robinson
If you want to learn a little more about what's wrong with your thinking, check out this cheat sheet on identifying faulty thinking at utvet.com/ThinkingErrors.html.
Stacy Grant is an Instructional Designer with a national software company. She has worked in the training and development field for over thirteen years in both government and privately owned organizations. Having spent a great deal of her career within the criminal justice and mental health fields she offers a unique perspective on topics of mental health, risk management and professional and organizational development. Stacy's expertise in cognitive-behavioral change practices lends to her success in helping individuals and organizations grow.***
-----------------------------------
By Stacy Grant
Check out her two blogs: Rules of Engagement, All about how we interact with others who share our environment at http://peaceablenation.blogspot.com/ and her Thoughts blog at http://peaceablenation.blogspot.com/.
You can reach her by e-mail at trainingpro4u@yahoo.com.
====================================
Finding Purpose in Life - The 3 Most Common Reasons People Lack Vision For Their Life
One of the biggest hindrances to achieving success is lack of vision. Anybody who wants to live a successful life will have to take time to meditate on his or her life's purpose. You will not find it by logical reasoning or in a good education. Your purpose is always in your heart in the form of a dream. God Himself put that dream there and created you with a unique combination of gifts and talents to make it come true with His help and guidance.
Every great accomplishment in human history was achieved because a man or a woman had a dream they dared to pursue. The problem is that too many different voices are surrounding us and confusing us. If we are not aware of these potential roadblocks to our success, we will regret it later in some midlife crisis or when we retire.
Provision Mindset
For one thing, society dictates that your number one goal should always be providing for your basic needs.
While this is a powerful reason to choose your life's occupation, it will never provide the fulfillment you would receive if you were walking in your life's purpose.
Peer pressure
Another powerful influence in our lives is peer pressure. Most of us do a lot of "right" things just to please friends and family. This is especially true if our dreams are very different to what is acceptable to our culture.
If you build your life around what others deem important without considering God's plan for your life, you will end up deeply frustrated, because you never did what you were created to do.
Lack of Faith
This is probably the most important reason many people don't achieve success in their life. True faith in God will always focus on the vision instead of all the impossibilities.
It will provide the necessary strength and wisdom to keep on pressing when the going gets tough.
You can change the course of your life forever when you...
A. Find out what is God's plan for your life.
B. Then establish a vision to pursue.
C. Successfully develop the talents He has given you.
...with my free e-course "7 Steps to Consistently Change Your Life" and e-book "The Power of Self-Directed Learning" at http://www.Self-DirectedLearningForSuccess.com***
----------------------------
By Bettina Langerfeldt
From Bettina Langerfeldt, who teaches people how to pursue their God-given gifts and talents by designing their own education with self-directed learning.
© 2008 Freedompioneer
Well, in case you are new to this series of article, let me sum up where we are at in helping you and others make long-standing changes.
First I gave you an easy-to-remember analogy about habit development in your brain, aka, the Forest and Pathways in Your Brain. Now you know that you are going to have to get off of that pathway that leads to the same old behavior you want to stop engaging in.
And you now have the first few steps towards actually making change:
1. You know exactly what you want to change (You did write down a well defined change statement didn't you? I sure hope so. This is a really important step.)
2. You've maximized your commitment (That list of reasons why you want to change. What you'll gain by changing. No gain is too small to note).
3. You've begun to identify the thought patterns that prompt and/or support your old behavior.
Think "just one piece of cake won't hurt'? "
Think you "might win the lottery so spending money you don't really have will all work itself out later"?
Think you can get by with "just one more night of careless and random sex'? "
Think you'll "start that workout routine tomorrow night'? Or the next? Only the next never seems to arrive?
O.k. , now you are ready for the next steps.
Oh, wait! You said you'll just go cold turkey? You don't need all this foreplay; that you'll just make that change without this nonsense?
Well, more power to you superman (or superwoman).
But for the rest of us that have more difficulty giving up those bad habits, read on...
Step #4. Deeper thinking about your thinking.
Take a close look at each thought that you listed in step 3. These are called your triggers, because they trigger your negative behavior. They are like a gun firing the bullet that's hurting you. If you did a good job at writing them down, you should have quite a variety of triggers.
Here's your 2 tasks with those thoughts:
First, for each thought, make a note, beside each, of what's wrong with that thought. Does it procrastinate? Justify? Minimize? Is it blaming of others? What's wrong with it? Be honest with yourself. Do this with each and every one of them.
- Here's an example: I want to stop snacking at my desk. My trigger thought is, "What do I have in my cupboard that I can eat?" What's wrong with that is: I'm trying to fill my mouth with food when I really need something to fill my attention, or, I can't keep distracting myself from the fact that my job isn't fulfilling.
- Here's another example: My trigger thought is, "Just eating these cookies isn't going to hurt me. I'm already overweight." The problem with that is that I am minimizing reality. If I eat 1500 calories of junk food I will gain more weight. Then I have the weight I started with PLUS what those cookies added to loose.
Second, write at least one thing that you can replace that trigger thought with when it enters your mind again (and it will re-enter your mind).
- Make it a statement or action that will 'interrupt' that thought and take your mind to a more positive place.
- This replacement should be in line with what your overall change goal is.
- This is where that 'Pathway' analogy comes in. You see, that thought is like your first step on that 'pathway through the woods (your brain) towards your old behavior. Catching that initial thought and redirecting yourself IS THE KEY to changing. PLAN your replacement thoughts (and a replacement action is a great addition as well) and you'll be ready the next time temptation calls.
- Here's an example: My trigger thought is, "Eating these five cookies won't add more weight on." My replacement thought is, " Eating these cookies will make it harder to loose weight. That's 1500 more calories to burn. I will walk down the stairs once instead."
Step 5. Redirection
Here's the part that's hard. You have the information, you know what your trigger thoughts are and you have replacement thoughts already planned out. Every time you think a thought on your list (or another trigger thought) force yourself to think of the positive replacement thought.
Its not a bad idea to write notes to yourself, share your plan with a friend or seek out other supports to help redirect yourself. It will get tough before it gets easier. Just like walking through a forest, we prefer taking that already existing pathway. Creating new pathways are difficult. There's lots of brush to muddle through. But once we have engaged in our new thoughts and actions for some time, they will too become habits. See? You're just creating new pathways (habits), replacing old ones that don't take you where you want to be.
So NEVER stop trying. NEVER. Change will happen. Y ou just have to want it bad enough, plan for it well and then work for it diligently! And if you relapse into old behavior for a moment, that's ok! Just stop as soon as you recognize it and get back on the pathway to the YOU that you want and deserve to be!
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." Maria Robinson
If you want to learn a little more about what's wrong with your thinking, check out this cheat sheet on identifying faulty thinking at utvet.com/ThinkingErrors.html.
Stacy Grant is an Instructional Designer with a national software company. She has worked in the training and development field for over thirteen years in both government and privately owned organizations. Having spent a great deal of her career within the criminal justice and mental health fields she offers a unique perspective on topics of mental health, risk management and professional and organizational development. Stacy's expertise in cognitive-behavioral change practices lends to her success in helping individuals and organizations grow.***
-----------------------------------
By Stacy Grant
Check out her two blogs: Rules of Engagement, All about how we interact with others who share our environment at http://peaceablenation.blogspot.com/ and her Thoughts blog at http://peaceablenation.blogspot.com/.
You can reach her by e-mail at trainingpro4u@yahoo.com.
====================================
Finding Purpose in Life - The 3 Most Common Reasons People Lack Vision For Their Life
One of the biggest hindrances to achieving success is lack of vision. Anybody who wants to live a successful life will have to take time to meditate on his or her life's purpose. You will not find it by logical reasoning or in a good education. Your purpose is always in your heart in the form of a dream. God Himself put that dream there and created you with a unique combination of gifts and talents to make it come true with His help and guidance.
Every great accomplishment in human history was achieved because a man or a woman had a dream they dared to pursue. The problem is that too many different voices are surrounding us and confusing us. If we are not aware of these potential roadblocks to our success, we will regret it later in some midlife crisis or when we retire.
Provision Mindset
For one thing, society dictates that your number one goal should always be providing for your basic needs.
While this is a powerful reason to choose your life's occupation, it will never provide the fulfillment you would receive if you were walking in your life's purpose.
Peer pressure
Another powerful influence in our lives is peer pressure. Most of us do a lot of "right" things just to please friends and family. This is especially true if our dreams are very different to what is acceptable to our culture.
If you build your life around what others deem important without considering God's plan for your life, you will end up deeply frustrated, because you never did what you were created to do.
Lack of Faith
This is probably the most important reason many people don't achieve success in their life. True faith in God will always focus on the vision instead of all the impossibilities.
It will provide the necessary strength and wisdom to keep on pressing when the going gets tough.
You can change the course of your life forever when you...
A. Find out what is God's plan for your life.
B. Then establish a vision to pursue.
C. Successfully develop the talents He has given you.
...with my free e-course "7 Steps to Consistently Change Your Life" and e-book "The Power of Self-Directed Learning" at http://www.Self-DirectedLearningForSuccess.com***
----------------------------
By Bettina Langerfeldt
From Bettina Langerfeldt, who teaches people how to pursue their God-given gifts and talents by designing their own education with self-directed learning.
© 2008 Freedompioneer
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