Jobs and CareersTo Thine Own Self Be True Blue
By Marianne Van Weezep
When deciding what goals to set always remain true blue. If you really want to be at home raising your children then listen to yourself and never mind the opinions of others. If you want to home school - do it. If you want a new job, promotion, education credentials - just do it! If not you - then who? If not now - then when?
We live in a world, which assumes it knows best what we should all be doing. Decisions thrust on us from what we should wear, to what we should eat, to what ideals we should have. I know, personally I have struggled up against this one my entire life.
The problem is most of the time these decisions do not fit us. They are not realistic to our current situations. We try to wear designer labels, which end up doing nothing to complement our unique forms in order to be socially acceptable. We go along with the flow because it is easier then leading the field.
We buy things way out of our budget range to fit in the social norm. We go on diets to fit the plastic molds. We attend parties and functions we would rather not be attending. We take courses we have no real interest in and end up hating it. So what can you do? You can work hard at keeping your values in alignment as you continue to work your way through life.
Remember, you only have so many hours in a day and so much energy. Know and trust it is your life, one life and you have the right to choose what it is you want to do. Choose today to be the best you can be to yourself by giving yourself permission to express and grow with openness and desire. Challenge yourself to experience your life in your way.
If you fail to listen to your own values, you will lose the satisfaction in your life. Your peace with yourself will become unbalanced which equates to the loss of your peace of mind. You will know immediately when you are out of alignment with your values for you start to become irritable, tired and your stress levels start to rise dramatically.
If your number one value is spending time with your family, but you spend 99% of your time working and doing things away from them, you are out of alignment with your value system. In this case, you would immediately implement a goal to spend more time with your family. Perhaps you can volunteer to be the coach of your son's little league team - or find the time to watch his favorite show with him. Perhaps little Sara could use some help learning her lines for the school play. Perhaps you could dedicate one night a week to family night. Whatever activity you decide, it would assist you in realigning your goals to your present values.
It is okay to follow what others are doing. The only time you need to be concerned is if you find it is affecting your own values in life. Your values are the very areas bringing you the greatest pleasure. Things, which you have the highest regard for and enjoy spending your time doing. The tasks which are determined to have great worth in your life. It is where you will dedicate most of your time.
These areas can include spending time with family, increasing your education, working on your personal development, spending time with your pet, gardening, advancing your career, owning your own business. Just remember and keep close to your heart you are the most important person in your life. You are your own best friend, mother, father, sister, brother for you know best what you need in order to succeed. So remember - to thine own self be - always - true blue.
For more tips and strategies on personal development go to http://www.StrategicSelfManagement.com/about.htm
==========================================
How to Motivate Children
By Alan Pritchard
I was visiting a friend's house recently and was intrigued by a handmade poster on the kitchen door. It was drawn in brightly coloured wax crayons and had two columns. On the left hand side the column was titled "Good" and had a big smiley face next to it.
On the right side the column was titled "Not Good" and this had a big frowning face next to it. I studied the poster for a while and I quickly realised that the poster was being used as a reward and recognition system for my friend's four-year-old daughter.
I chatted with my friends and asked them about how they used it with Leah and was very interested to hear what they had to say. Every time that Leah did something good, her parents rewarded her by writing down what she had done well and putting a big smiley face next to it. They did this with her and then praised her for it and made a big fuss out of the positive. This made her feel really good and apparently the pleasure on her face at her sense of achievement was a delight to see.
I noticed that the "good" column had a long list of items and that the "not good" column" only had two things on it. Her parents said that they only put really unacceptable behaviour on that list and that their strategy was to only draw attention to the positive things that Leah did. They had discovered that by praising the positive and by offering emotional reward, Leah responded very well to the praise and her self confidence and self esteem had grown noticeably since they had started using this method.
They had tried rewarding Leah with sweets and presents but they found that genuine praise given with love and sincerity was a far more powerful for the growth of their child (and cheaper too!).
My conversation with Leah's parents got me thinking about motivation and I can remember for a long time how I used to think and believe that the materialistic motivators were the most powerful forms of encouragement. Then a few years ago I discovered that emotional drivers are the key to motivating yourself and others.
Humans are emotional beings and not logical beings and so we are driven by how we feel about things. You might think a child is driven by the need for ice cream especially when the demand for it is given at 120 decibels in the middle of a crowded mall on a busy Saturday afternoon. But what the child really wants are the feelings of pleasure and satisfaction they will get from the ice cream. They don't really want the ice cream (especially if they knew what was in it - but that is another story!!!), all they want are the feelings that they associate with having it.
Now I am not discounting Personal Gain as a motivator, I have just discovered that it is not the only factor that will drive children to do things for you and for themselves.
Ironically I was reading an extract from a teacher's guide called "The Master Teacher" recently that a colleague had sent me, just after I had visited my friends, and this gave the following nine motivators:
1. Personal Gain - the "What's in it for Me" factor.
2. Prestige - The desire to do something that is valued or valuable.
3. Pleasure - everyone wants to enjoy what they are doing.
4. Security - For some people this is the strongest motivator.
5. Convenience - everyone likes to do things that are easy and simple.
6. Imitation - the desire to be like others.
7. Desire to avoid fear - No one likes to be afraid or uncomfortable.
8. New experiences - positive stimulation empowers people.
9. Love - everyone needs to be loved to grow and develop.
When I read this list, it reminded me of the time I spent at some of Tony Robbins's seminars a couple of years ago. Tony talks about the six human needs being:
Certainty (comfort - avoid pain and gain pleasure) Variety (surprise, a state change) Significance (desire to be unique, a sense of meaning) Connection (love of self and others) Growth (ongoing personal development) Contribution (to others and yourself)
If you look at both lists you will see a tremendous amount of similarity and that what is evident is that the most powerful motivators, in accordance with these two very different sources, are emotional.
So how do you motivate children (or anyone, for that matter)?
That is a good question and I think the answer is quite simple - make them feel good about themselves and about what it is you want them to do.
How do you do that?
Now that is where the fun starts and if I knew the full and complete answer to that I would be a very wise man indeed. The thing I want to get across to you in this article is that although the seemingly easiest strategy to help motivate kids is to promise them something in return for their co-operation, it is not the answer. You might offer them sweets, the promise of a trip to the cinema or even presents. Unfortunately this has only a short-term effect and ignores the real needs of the child.
I am going to suggest that when you want to get children to do things, whether it is for you or for them, you should look at their emotional needs and ask yourself this simple question:
"How can I get them to feel really good about doing this?"
Think about the needs I have listed above and then be creative. It may take a little practice but as my friends have found with Leah, the rewards will be worth it.
Copyright (c) 2009 Positively MAD
Find teaching resources and more articles at: http://www.positivelymad.co.uk. Find out how to make a difference to young people's lives: http://www.posmad.com/prospectus.aspx
By Marianne Van Weezep
When deciding what goals to set always remain true blue. If you really want to be at home raising your children then listen to yourself and never mind the opinions of others. If you want to home school - do it. If you want a new job, promotion, education credentials - just do it! If not you - then who? If not now - then when?
We live in a world, which assumes it knows best what we should all be doing. Decisions thrust on us from what we should wear, to what we should eat, to what ideals we should have. I know, personally I have struggled up against this one my entire life.
The problem is most of the time these decisions do not fit us. They are not realistic to our current situations. We try to wear designer labels, which end up doing nothing to complement our unique forms in order to be socially acceptable. We go along with the flow because it is easier then leading the field.
We buy things way out of our budget range to fit in the social norm. We go on diets to fit the plastic molds. We attend parties and functions we would rather not be attending. We take courses we have no real interest in and end up hating it. So what can you do? You can work hard at keeping your values in alignment as you continue to work your way through life.
Remember, you only have so many hours in a day and so much energy. Know and trust it is your life, one life and you have the right to choose what it is you want to do. Choose today to be the best you can be to yourself by giving yourself permission to express and grow with openness and desire. Challenge yourself to experience your life in your way.
If you fail to listen to your own values, you will lose the satisfaction in your life. Your peace with yourself will become unbalanced which equates to the loss of your peace of mind. You will know immediately when you are out of alignment with your values for you start to become irritable, tired and your stress levels start to rise dramatically.
If your number one value is spending time with your family, but you spend 99% of your time working and doing things away from them, you are out of alignment with your value system. In this case, you would immediately implement a goal to spend more time with your family. Perhaps you can volunteer to be the coach of your son's little league team - or find the time to watch his favorite show with him. Perhaps little Sara could use some help learning her lines for the school play. Perhaps you could dedicate one night a week to family night. Whatever activity you decide, it would assist you in realigning your goals to your present values.
It is okay to follow what others are doing. The only time you need to be concerned is if you find it is affecting your own values in life. Your values are the very areas bringing you the greatest pleasure. Things, which you have the highest regard for and enjoy spending your time doing. The tasks which are determined to have great worth in your life. It is where you will dedicate most of your time.
These areas can include spending time with family, increasing your education, working on your personal development, spending time with your pet, gardening, advancing your career, owning your own business. Just remember and keep close to your heart you are the most important person in your life. You are your own best friend, mother, father, sister, brother for you know best what you need in order to succeed. So remember - to thine own self be - always - true blue.
For more tips and strategies on personal development go to http://www.StrategicSelfManagement.com/about.htm
==========================================
How to Motivate Children
By Alan Pritchard
I was visiting a friend's house recently and was intrigued by a handmade poster on the kitchen door. It was drawn in brightly coloured wax crayons and had two columns. On the left hand side the column was titled "Good" and had a big smiley face next to it.
On the right side the column was titled "Not Good" and this had a big frowning face next to it. I studied the poster for a while and I quickly realised that the poster was being used as a reward and recognition system for my friend's four-year-old daughter.
I chatted with my friends and asked them about how they used it with Leah and was very interested to hear what they had to say. Every time that Leah did something good, her parents rewarded her by writing down what she had done well and putting a big smiley face next to it. They did this with her and then praised her for it and made a big fuss out of the positive. This made her feel really good and apparently the pleasure on her face at her sense of achievement was a delight to see.
I noticed that the "good" column had a long list of items and that the "not good" column" only had two things on it. Her parents said that they only put really unacceptable behaviour on that list and that their strategy was to only draw attention to the positive things that Leah did. They had discovered that by praising the positive and by offering emotional reward, Leah responded very well to the praise and her self confidence and self esteem had grown noticeably since they had started using this method.
They had tried rewarding Leah with sweets and presents but they found that genuine praise given with love and sincerity was a far more powerful for the growth of their child (and cheaper too!).
My conversation with Leah's parents got me thinking about motivation and I can remember for a long time how I used to think and believe that the materialistic motivators were the most powerful forms of encouragement. Then a few years ago I discovered that emotional drivers are the key to motivating yourself and others.
Humans are emotional beings and not logical beings and so we are driven by how we feel about things. You might think a child is driven by the need for ice cream especially when the demand for it is given at 120 decibels in the middle of a crowded mall on a busy Saturday afternoon. But what the child really wants are the feelings of pleasure and satisfaction they will get from the ice cream. They don't really want the ice cream (especially if they knew what was in it - but that is another story!!!), all they want are the feelings that they associate with having it.
Now I am not discounting Personal Gain as a motivator, I have just discovered that it is not the only factor that will drive children to do things for you and for themselves.
Ironically I was reading an extract from a teacher's guide called "The Master Teacher" recently that a colleague had sent me, just after I had visited my friends, and this gave the following nine motivators:
1. Personal Gain - the "What's in it for Me" factor.
2. Prestige - The desire to do something that is valued or valuable.
3. Pleasure - everyone wants to enjoy what they are doing.
4. Security - For some people this is the strongest motivator.
5. Convenience - everyone likes to do things that are easy and simple.
6. Imitation - the desire to be like others.
7. Desire to avoid fear - No one likes to be afraid or uncomfortable.
8. New experiences - positive stimulation empowers people.
9. Love - everyone needs to be loved to grow and develop.
When I read this list, it reminded me of the time I spent at some of Tony Robbins's seminars a couple of years ago. Tony talks about the six human needs being:
Certainty (comfort - avoid pain and gain pleasure) Variety (surprise, a state change) Significance (desire to be unique, a sense of meaning) Connection (love of self and others) Growth (ongoing personal development) Contribution (to others and yourself)
If you look at both lists you will see a tremendous amount of similarity and that what is evident is that the most powerful motivators, in accordance with these two very different sources, are emotional.
So how do you motivate children (or anyone, for that matter)?
That is a good question and I think the answer is quite simple - make them feel good about themselves and about what it is you want them to do.
How do you do that?
Now that is where the fun starts and if I knew the full and complete answer to that I would be a very wise man indeed. The thing I want to get across to you in this article is that although the seemingly easiest strategy to help motivate kids is to promise them something in return for their co-operation, it is not the answer. You might offer them sweets, the promise of a trip to the cinema or even presents. Unfortunately this has only a short-term effect and ignores the real needs of the child.
I am going to suggest that when you want to get children to do things, whether it is for you or for them, you should look at their emotional needs and ask yourself this simple question:
"How can I get them to feel really good about doing this?"
Think about the needs I have listed above and then be creative. It may take a little practice but as my friends have found with Leah, the rewards will be worth it.
Copyright (c) 2009 Positively MAD
Find teaching resources and more articles at: http://www.positivelymad.co.uk. Find out how to make a difference to young people's lives: http://www.posmad.com/prospectus.aspx
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