Jobs and CareersDifficult Colleagues Can Cause Workplace Stress
By Dr Jeff Bailey
One of the surprise TV reality show successes is Heidi Klum's Project Runway. I must confess that I enjoy the drama and the design but one particular series seemed to be more about the attitude of one of the designers than the designs. This designer had a serious 'attitude' problem and was attracting a lot of negative criticism - not for her design work but for her attitude. She was constantly critical of her peers; put them and their work down at every opportunity; did and said things that made them dislike her; and upset the judges.
It's easy to get emotionally involved in these reality shows but the question is - was all this negative attention her fault? Was she just the wrong sort of personality to be in this type of competition? Was she normally a positive, easy going, self-aware person outside of the hothouse of Project Runway? I don't know the answer to that but let's imagine that you have a colleague who has an irritating, hostile personality.
What you often find with these types of people is they have a serious lack of self-awareness. They use a style of defense called external attribution. It is always someone else's fault that things go wrong; someone else failed to pull their weight; someone else didn't meet the deadlines' someone else failed to tell her what was required and when. I'm sure you get the point.
Related to self-awareness is the fascinating concept promoted by Dr Daniel Goleman - emotional intelligence. EI as it is called, and self-awareness, are two of the most important indicators of successful leadership in an organization. To be healthy, collaborative, and productive in the workplace, we need to be honest with ourselves. We need to objectively audit our strengths and weaknesses. We need to work hard to present a positive and cooperative approach to our colleagues. We need to be an effective contributor on the work team. We must be respectful and courteous of our colleagues.
What happens when you have a person who is unaware of the negativity they bring to the workplace? You have work to do or else this person will stress you out of your mind. You have to develop coping skills that mean that you do not get workplace stress. After all, why should this person cause you personal stress and upset? You have to accept that this is their problem, not yours; you need to maintain a professional and respectful approach to this individual. You need to find their particular strengths and give clear support to these strengths.
To deal effectively with personal stress and workplace stress you have to rise above yourself. You have to understand the problems the stress-causer is experiencing. You have to distance yourself from the person and the stress. You have to take a 'so-what' attitude and attend to your own business. The more you invest in the negative, stressful person, the more you will elevate your own stress levels and fail to get stress relief. Don't be afraid to help them but don't let them upset your good mood and turn your workplace into stress hell! Good luck!
Dr Jeff, a psychologist, writes about workplace stress, personal stress, interpersonal stress, and how to manage stress. On his blog, http://www.drjeffbailey.com, he answers questions from readers. He works hard to make his articles practical and helpful and all of his articles are based on sound research evidence and extensive clinical experience. Please go to his Dr Jeff blog to get your free report on stress.
====================================
Top Ten Techniques For Relaxation Bliss!
By Colin Smith
As you know relaxation has many benefits for our body and mind. Relaxing helps to reduce stress and allows the good chemicals to flow more in the mind giving access to more clarity, creatively and resourcefulness.
Below then are ten techniques for relaxation bliss:
1. Part of you is Relaxed now...
A. Close your eyes and become aware of where the most relaxed part of your body is?
B. Imagine spreading this feeling throughout your body, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.
C. Enjoy cycling through these relaxing feelings by starting again at step A.
2. Slow Down the Internal Voice
We often stress ourselves with internal critical voices. A simple and effective way to reduce the suffering caused by inner voices is to slow them down.
A. Pick one of those critical internal voices that annoy you from time to time.
B. Notice it's location in space and what it says to you.
C. Now hear what it says again except this time slow it's delivery down. Way down. Repeat the sentence and slow it down even more.
D. Do this a few times until it's really slow and notice how you feel more relaxed!
3. Re-access Relaxation
A. Have you ever felt relaxed or at least at ease, maybe it was on a beach or in a beautiful woodland.
B. Re-access the peaceful state by remembering what you saw, what you heard and smelt and allow those relaxing feelings to arise again.
C. Just sit with those pleasant feelings for a few minutes, that's right.
4. Relaxing music
A. Where do you want to be more relaxed? Notice what you see and hear just before you would want to feel a wave of relaxation. eg) The office door
B. If I were to ask you what some of your favourite relaxing music was what would it be?
C. Hear that relaxing music nice and clear inside your mind and allow those pleasant feelings to arise.
D. Now think of the trigger you choose in Step A and while hearing the music in your mind, imagine walking into the situation.
E. Do this a few times to 'wire it in' and you could even do this on a few other situations where relaxation would be useful.
5. Spinning the Movie Backwards
Our peace of mind can get disturbed by memories. Here is an excellent technique that enables us to neutralise negative emotions associated with troublesome memories.
A. Remember an occasion where you got annoyed. Maybe somebody made a remark that upset you a bit.
B. Imagine re-viewing it from beginning to end. Freeze-frame it at the end.
C. Pick some funny music. Cartoon? Circus music?
D. Now reverse the movie: That is play it backwards from the end to the beginning with the funny music playing.
When you play the movie backwards make it so it's faster than normal reality because it adds to the humour!
6. A Walk in Nature
This one's a simple and completely time-tested gold nugget.
Get yourself out into nature. It may just be a park in the City with some trees.
Observe nature. The sounds, the smells. Become curious at the wonder of it all.
Is it possible to be aware of all your senses at once?
7. Shapeshift into the Wind
A. Step outside and become aware of the wind.
B. As you notice it's presence and shifting patterns, allow yourself to 'shapeshift' into the wind. Simply imagine you have become one with the wind.
C. Close your eyes and indulge yourself in this moment now.
8. Imagining your more relaxed self
A. If you were more relaxed now what would that you look like out there in front. It's OK if this you is only 5% more relaxed because this is about going in a relaxing direction isn't it?
B. Notice what that you looks like, your posture, your breathing, your facial expression.
C. Now imagine stepping into that more relaxed you.
D. Repeat from step A.
9. Hakalau
This a really interesting technique that comes from Hawaiian Shamanism, Huna.
A. Look out in front of you at a 20 degree angle upwards. Become aware of objects/movements in the horizontal part of your peripheral vision.
B. Become aware of objects/movements in the vertical part of your peripheral vision. (eg your shoes and the sky.)
C. As you notice more and more of your peripheral vision allow it to spread out and around you so that you can imagine what is behind you too.
D. Now you can do this with your other senses. Spread your hearing out and around and then do the same with your kinaesthetics.
E. Stay in this state for several minutes and you will become very relaxed. This technique switches on your parasympathetic nervous system.
Try closing your eyes and doing it!
10. Simple Breathing Meditation
Meditating on the breath is probably the most widely used and ancient of practices for relaxing the mind. It's very effective.
A. Sit down with your back straight.
B. Close your eyes and simply breath through your nostrils and out through your mouth.
C. Just observe the breath going in and out.
D. Try pausing for a second before the out breath, focussing on the heart centre.
Repeat for 10 minutes or more if you can!
When you practice techniques like the ones above and you find yourself gaining benefit, it will encourage you to develop a habit of relaxation. And the more you practice, the more you'll enjoy becoming a relaxed person didn't you.
Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of 'The NLP ToolBox' & 'The Half Second Rule.' For more information please visit the following website where you can also get a FREE NLP Course ==> http://www.NLPToolBox.com
====================================
Stress Management Techniques to Learn How to Handle Stress Like a Pro
By Mike C. Powers
What is Stress
Believe it or not, stress is a necessity. It is essential for your daily functioning. Feeling stressed is actually a defense mechanism that naturally occurs in response to a condition presented in the environment.
Initially, these feelings can positively benefit a person as it allows one to be more attentive and fuels one's motivation to act or react to a given situation. It can surprisingly make people become more effective at what they are doing, and with the right amount of pressure, a person's response can be heightened and their focus can be finely tuned to areas that require attention in the moment.
Unfortunately, consistent stress that is un-interrupting will counteract these benefits. In fact, being exposed to stressors for long periods of time can have grave consequences on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Effects of Stress on the Body
Stress affects the body. It causes the body to feel anxious, irritable, and nervous. It's like you're carrying something heavy inside of you. Your heart beats like mad and your blood rushes like lava whenever you're stressed.
Because these are negative sensations, we do whatever we can to avoid having to experience these feelings. And as a result, many people completely shut down when they experience stress. They immediately stop doing the thing that is causing them the tension and anxiety, which leads them to a sedentary and unproductive lifestyle.
How to Handle Stress like a Pro
Stress management professionals have developed various stress management techniques and strategies that teach individuals about the different kinds of stress and the many ways to manage them. Below is a brief overview of some of the more effective strategies.
1. Find the root cause.
The first step is to find out the root cause of your stress. Understand the nature of your troubles. Get a pen and paper and enumerate everything that elicits a negative response inside you.
2. Eliminate or Deal with it.
Then look for ways to either eliminate them from your life or learn to live with them in your life. As we mentioned earlier, you can't totally rid yourself of every possible stressor; so the ones you can't, discover ways to better handle and manage.
3. Always think positive.
Whatever the problem is and however big it is, never lose hope that you can tackle it. You'll have a greater chance of success when you can stay positive and maintain an upbeat attitude.
4. Take a break.
After a long day at work, the body and the mind need to rest. Learn to unwind and relax, even if it's just for an hour every night. Do anything that is different from what you've been doing all day. If you have been out and about all day, then for that hour, stay in and watch your favorite television program or take a nice soothing bath.
5. Reward yourself.
Regularly give yourself permission to relax, to do things you enjoy, or to treat yourself to something nice - and not feel guilty about it. Guilt translates into stress. By feeling guilty for doing things that should be easing your tensions, you will be left without any real ways to cope with the pressures of everyday life.
Stress can make your life exciting or dull. It largely depends in the way you learn how to handle stress. Do not handle it by letting it turn into a depressant that makes you feel down most of the time. Learn how to handle stress by turning it into a positive force that can uplift and empower you.
SelfMadeEasy.com is a personal development and self help company empowering you to improve yourself and choose your own change.
Want more tips on how to handle stress? Visit, http://www.selfmadeeasy.com/pd_how_to_deal_with_stress.cfm
By Dr Jeff Bailey
One of the surprise TV reality show successes is Heidi Klum's Project Runway. I must confess that I enjoy the drama and the design but one particular series seemed to be more about the attitude of one of the designers than the designs. This designer had a serious 'attitude' problem and was attracting a lot of negative criticism - not for her design work but for her attitude. She was constantly critical of her peers; put them and their work down at every opportunity; did and said things that made them dislike her; and upset the judges.
It's easy to get emotionally involved in these reality shows but the question is - was all this negative attention her fault? Was she just the wrong sort of personality to be in this type of competition? Was she normally a positive, easy going, self-aware person outside of the hothouse of Project Runway? I don't know the answer to that but let's imagine that you have a colleague who has an irritating, hostile personality.
What you often find with these types of people is they have a serious lack of self-awareness. They use a style of defense called external attribution. It is always someone else's fault that things go wrong; someone else failed to pull their weight; someone else didn't meet the deadlines' someone else failed to tell her what was required and when. I'm sure you get the point.
Related to self-awareness is the fascinating concept promoted by Dr Daniel Goleman - emotional intelligence. EI as it is called, and self-awareness, are two of the most important indicators of successful leadership in an organization. To be healthy, collaborative, and productive in the workplace, we need to be honest with ourselves. We need to objectively audit our strengths and weaknesses. We need to work hard to present a positive and cooperative approach to our colleagues. We need to be an effective contributor on the work team. We must be respectful and courteous of our colleagues.
What happens when you have a person who is unaware of the negativity they bring to the workplace? You have work to do or else this person will stress you out of your mind. You have to develop coping skills that mean that you do not get workplace stress. After all, why should this person cause you personal stress and upset? You have to accept that this is their problem, not yours; you need to maintain a professional and respectful approach to this individual. You need to find their particular strengths and give clear support to these strengths.
To deal effectively with personal stress and workplace stress you have to rise above yourself. You have to understand the problems the stress-causer is experiencing. You have to distance yourself from the person and the stress. You have to take a 'so-what' attitude and attend to your own business. The more you invest in the negative, stressful person, the more you will elevate your own stress levels and fail to get stress relief. Don't be afraid to help them but don't let them upset your good mood and turn your workplace into stress hell! Good luck!
Dr Jeff, a psychologist, writes about workplace stress, personal stress, interpersonal stress, and how to manage stress. On his blog, http://www.drjeffbailey.com, he answers questions from readers. He works hard to make his articles practical and helpful and all of his articles are based on sound research evidence and extensive clinical experience. Please go to his Dr Jeff blog to get your free report on stress.
====================================
Top Ten Techniques For Relaxation Bliss!
By Colin Smith
As you know relaxation has many benefits for our body and mind. Relaxing helps to reduce stress and allows the good chemicals to flow more in the mind giving access to more clarity, creatively and resourcefulness.
Below then are ten techniques for relaxation bliss:
1. Part of you is Relaxed now...
A. Close your eyes and become aware of where the most relaxed part of your body is?
B. Imagine spreading this feeling throughout your body, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.
C. Enjoy cycling through these relaxing feelings by starting again at step A.
2. Slow Down the Internal Voice
We often stress ourselves with internal critical voices. A simple and effective way to reduce the suffering caused by inner voices is to slow them down.
A. Pick one of those critical internal voices that annoy you from time to time.
B. Notice it's location in space and what it says to you.
C. Now hear what it says again except this time slow it's delivery down. Way down. Repeat the sentence and slow it down even more.
D. Do this a few times until it's really slow and notice how you feel more relaxed!
3. Re-access Relaxation
A. Have you ever felt relaxed or at least at ease, maybe it was on a beach or in a beautiful woodland.
B. Re-access the peaceful state by remembering what you saw, what you heard and smelt and allow those relaxing feelings to arise again.
C. Just sit with those pleasant feelings for a few minutes, that's right.
4. Relaxing music
A. Where do you want to be more relaxed? Notice what you see and hear just before you would want to feel a wave of relaxation. eg) The office door
B. If I were to ask you what some of your favourite relaxing music was what would it be?
C. Hear that relaxing music nice and clear inside your mind and allow those pleasant feelings to arise.
D. Now think of the trigger you choose in Step A and while hearing the music in your mind, imagine walking into the situation.
E. Do this a few times to 'wire it in' and you could even do this on a few other situations where relaxation would be useful.
5. Spinning the Movie Backwards
Our peace of mind can get disturbed by memories. Here is an excellent technique that enables us to neutralise negative emotions associated with troublesome memories.
A. Remember an occasion where you got annoyed. Maybe somebody made a remark that upset you a bit.
B. Imagine re-viewing it from beginning to end. Freeze-frame it at the end.
C. Pick some funny music. Cartoon? Circus music?
D. Now reverse the movie: That is play it backwards from the end to the beginning with the funny music playing.
When you play the movie backwards make it so it's faster than normal reality because it adds to the humour!
6. A Walk in Nature
This one's a simple and completely time-tested gold nugget.
Get yourself out into nature. It may just be a park in the City with some trees.
Observe nature. The sounds, the smells. Become curious at the wonder of it all.
Is it possible to be aware of all your senses at once?
7. Shapeshift into the Wind
A. Step outside and become aware of the wind.
B. As you notice it's presence and shifting patterns, allow yourself to 'shapeshift' into the wind. Simply imagine you have become one with the wind.
C. Close your eyes and indulge yourself in this moment now.
8. Imagining your more relaxed self
A. If you were more relaxed now what would that you look like out there in front. It's OK if this you is only 5% more relaxed because this is about going in a relaxing direction isn't it?
B. Notice what that you looks like, your posture, your breathing, your facial expression.
C. Now imagine stepping into that more relaxed you.
D. Repeat from step A.
9. Hakalau
This a really interesting technique that comes from Hawaiian Shamanism, Huna.
A. Look out in front of you at a 20 degree angle upwards. Become aware of objects/movements in the horizontal part of your peripheral vision.
B. Become aware of objects/movements in the vertical part of your peripheral vision. (eg your shoes and the sky.)
C. As you notice more and more of your peripheral vision allow it to spread out and around you so that you can imagine what is behind you too.
D. Now you can do this with your other senses. Spread your hearing out and around and then do the same with your kinaesthetics.
E. Stay in this state for several minutes and you will become very relaxed. This technique switches on your parasympathetic nervous system.
Try closing your eyes and doing it!
10. Simple Breathing Meditation
Meditating on the breath is probably the most widely used and ancient of practices for relaxing the mind. It's very effective.
A. Sit down with your back straight.
B. Close your eyes and simply breath through your nostrils and out through your mouth.
C. Just observe the breath going in and out.
D. Try pausing for a second before the out breath, focussing on the heart centre.
Repeat for 10 minutes or more if you can!
When you practice techniques like the ones above and you find yourself gaining benefit, it will encourage you to develop a habit of relaxation. And the more you practice, the more you'll enjoy becoming a relaxed person didn't you.
Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of 'The NLP ToolBox' & 'The Half Second Rule.' For more information please visit the following website where you can also get a FREE NLP Course ==> http://www.NLPToolBox.com
====================================
Stress Management Techniques to Learn How to Handle Stress Like a Pro
By Mike C. Powers
What is Stress
Believe it or not, stress is a necessity. It is essential for your daily functioning. Feeling stressed is actually a defense mechanism that naturally occurs in response to a condition presented in the environment.
Initially, these feelings can positively benefit a person as it allows one to be more attentive and fuels one's motivation to act or react to a given situation. It can surprisingly make people become more effective at what they are doing, and with the right amount of pressure, a person's response can be heightened and their focus can be finely tuned to areas that require attention in the moment.
Unfortunately, consistent stress that is un-interrupting will counteract these benefits. In fact, being exposed to stressors for long periods of time can have grave consequences on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Effects of Stress on the Body
Stress affects the body. It causes the body to feel anxious, irritable, and nervous. It's like you're carrying something heavy inside of you. Your heart beats like mad and your blood rushes like lava whenever you're stressed.
Because these are negative sensations, we do whatever we can to avoid having to experience these feelings. And as a result, many people completely shut down when they experience stress. They immediately stop doing the thing that is causing them the tension and anxiety, which leads them to a sedentary and unproductive lifestyle.
How to Handle Stress like a Pro
Stress management professionals have developed various stress management techniques and strategies that teach individuals about the different kinds of stress and the many ways to manage them. Below is a brief overview of some of the more effective strategies.
1. Find the root cause.
The first step is to find out the root cause of your stress. Understand the nature of your troubles. Get a pen and paper and enumerate everything that elicits a negative response inside you.
2. Eliminate or Deal with it.
Then look for ways to either eliminate them from your life or learn to live with them in your life. As we mentioned earlier, you can't totally rid yourself of every possible stressor; so the ones you can't, discover ways to better handle and manage.
3. Always think positive.
Whatever the problem is and however big it is, never lose hope that you can tackle it. You'll have a greater chance of success when you can stay positive and maintain an upbeat attitude.
4. Take a break.
After a long day at work, the body and the mind need to rest. Learn to unwind and relax, even if it's just for an hour every night. Do anything that is different from what you've been doing all day. If you have been out and about all day, then for that hour, stay in and watch your favorite television program or take a nice soothing bath.
5. Reward yourself.
Regularly give yourself permission to relax, to do things you enjoy, or to treat yourself to something nice - and not feel guilty about it. Guilt translates into stress. By feeling guilty for doing things that should be easing your tensions, you will be left without any real ways to cope with the pressures of everyday life.
Stress can make your life exciting or dull. It largely depends in the way you learn how to handle stress. Do not handle it by letting it turn into a depressant that makes you feel down most of the time. Learn how to handle stress by turning it into a positive force that can uplift and empower you.
SelfMadeEasy.com is a personal development and self help company empowering you to improve yourself and choose your own change.
Want more tips on how to handle stress? Visit, http://www.selfmadeeasy.com/pd_how_to_deal_with_stress.cfm
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