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Why Do People Worry? Technique to Stop Worry in It's Tracks

Why Do People Worry? Technique to Stop Worry in It's Tracks
By Audrey E Sussman Ph.D.
Recently a was asked by a mother of a special needs child to give her some answers about why some of the parents she speaks with seem to stay unruffled no matter what is going on and others find their worries about possible future problems spinning out of control. Her questions lead me to write the following article.

As I listened to her question I understood what she was really asking. She wanted to know the secret of staying calm and balanced even when faced with real life difficulties. What causes a total meltdown for one person will hardly cause a ripple for another. My answer comes in two parts. Way people react differently and then the more important part how to stop the mind from spinning off into all types of worries.

The reason that people react differently is because of emotions and beliefs that have roots in their past. Repressed emotions and beliefs then become filters for perceptions in the present. When a person reacts to an event, it is not just the present day situation they are reacting to, but an entire chain of emotions going back all the way to childhood. In childhood we all develop coping patterns and techniques to help us deal with the stresses in life. For example one of my clients was afraid that if she didn't worry something bad would happen. This belief that she formed in childhood was at the root of her worry in present day situations. Although on a logical level she knew that worrying about thing that hadn't even happened was adding to her stress, she still truly believed that she needed to worry to protect those she loved. As we worked together we found that it was understandable that she developed this belief, because being the oldest child of an alcoholic parent she had to run every possible consequence through her mind in order to keep her and her siblings safe. But, even as an adult, she still found herself consumed with worry. The circumstances had changed, but the thought pattern hadn't.

You might be thinking isn't worrying a good thing at times since so many of us are very talented at it? Despite all the negative feelings attached to it, worry can serve a positive function when it prepares you for possible future difficulties. It can alert you to things that need to be taken care of, or of consequences of certain actions. For any worry can keep you watchful for symptoms that indicate a possible life-threatening problem, or it can motivate you to take positive action to improve the quality of your child's life.

However, once you have done everything in your power to anticipate and prepare for possible future problems, worry ceases to serve a positive function. When your thoughts cycle into negative, scary future possibilities about things that are outside of your control, it is time to learn techniques to stop worry from putting another hardship in your life.

In answer to the second part of the question about stopping the worry cycle, there are many techniques for stopping a worry in its tracks. The technique I will discuss today works when worry begins with the way you filter information. When you start picturing scary possibilities for the future, or start to make up negative thoughts and stories about a possible future event, an excellent exercise is called the "2 for 1" technique. It draws upon the same powerful imagination that you use to create negative stories but instead you use it to create positive thoughts instead. By practicing it consistently, you begin to change the cognitive thought cycles that are causing your worry, and as an extra bonus it also adjusts the unconscious assumptions that keep the cycles alive.

I'll use an example I was given by this parent. She was sitting on the couch at night, thinking about her child's play date that afternoon. She found herself troubled because as she remembered seeing her child's delays in many areas that were so apparent as he played with his friend. Her mind started to spin off into all sorts of other areas. Will he be able to function in life? Will others tease him? Will he feel bad about himself and lose his joy of live? Will he be able to have a job? And the answers she was creating were not pretty. Yet she knows her child is just 8 years old and that many things can take place. To use the "2 for 1" Exercise you would do the following:

Step 1: Jot down the facts: What happened at the event.

Step 2: Then make a list of the negative thoughts and fears you are feeling, every thought or vision that moves through your mind. An interesting thing begins to happen as you write the negative thoughts, you will start to realize that no matter how much you might worry that the thoughts might be true, they are still just one possible way things may possibly happen.

Step 3: The next and most important step is to cross out the first negative thought you have written down, and write down two possible positive thoughts or possible positive outcomes in its place. Repeat this for each negative thought on the list, until all your negative thoughts are crossed out and replaced by positive ones.

Most of us are far more used to telling ourselves negative stories than positive ones. So it may feel a little strange at first to accept these positive thoughts as readily as you did the negative ones. With practice, though, you will find that the positive thoughts start to pop up on their own, just as the negative ones once did. Those positive possibilities will replace the cycle of worry with one of hope and potential. There are many ways to combat worry. The "2 for 1" Exercise is used to break the cycle on the cognitive or thought part of the stress cycle. For ways to break the cycle on the emotional and physical part of the stress cycle go to our website.

Audrey Sussman, PhD is a nationally recognized seminar leader and author. Her Transformation System gives the keys to relief from panic, phobias, fear, anger, migraines and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. If you are suffering, you have a better life to gain. For more tips on getting relief from stress visit her website at http://www.anxietycontrolcenter.com

If you are suffering from Anxiety, Stress, Fear, Phobia's or Procrastination. If you are feeling sad, depressed, angry or having flashbacks to traumatic events. Even if you believe nothing can help, there is hope. The Transformation System developed by Audrey Sussman, provides a step by step approach so you can find the answers to living a fuller and more complete life. Don't delay one more second. If you are suffering, you have nothing to lose and a better life to gain.

Audrey began on her quest to find a way to get relief from anxiety and panic many years ago. After years of study and practice she developed the Transformation System, for the relief of panic, phobias, migraines and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Learn to use this step by step system, by listening to her teleseminars, with private consultations or through her e-courses.

Her books include Calm & Comfort... Yours for the Asking, The Power of Thought - Untold Secrets of the Unconscious, Stress Relief in 10 Minutes (Co-authored with Tish Schuman). In her active private practice, clients have achieved lasting transformations using the Transformation System.

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Seven Secrets to Living a Happier (and Less Stressful) Life
By Terri R. Marshall
We've all heard that some people tend to look at life optimistically with a "glass is half-full" approach. Others see life more pessimistically with the opposing "glass is half-empty" view. Those who are optimistic live happier lives because they realize that happiness is not a "thing" to be acquired, but a choice you make for yourself each and every day. Acquiring "things" to make yourself happy creates only a short-lived type of happiness. True, lasting happiness comes from deep within you and will attract all that you desire into your life. Strive for this type of happiness with the seven key steps below:

1. Avoid Complaining and Criticizing -- These produce a negative focus. Instead seek opportunities to praise others, to laugh and to practice kindness each day.

2. Become Non-Judgmental -- Judging others creates chaos in your inner dialogue. Instead strive for inner peace by learning to accept others as they are.

3. Practice Defenselessness - Relinquish the need to convince others of your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you release the burden of defensiveness and feel more relaxed, joyful and free.

4. Appreciate -- Begin to truly be thankful for all that you DO have! An easy way to practice appreciation and establish a positive focus is with a Gratitude Journal. Keep your journal beside your bed and write down five things you are thankful for each night before going to sleep. In no time you'll realize just how much you already have to be thankful for.

5. Meditate -- Release resistance to your natural state of wellbeing by learning to quiet your mind. Going within promotes inner harmony and will help you to experience more peace and tranquility in your life. The goal of meditation is mindfulness which means living fully in the present moment without regretting the past or worrying about the future. Try centering yourself daily by lying quietly on your bed and focusing only on your breathing for 10 minutes, dismiss any thoughts that invade this quiet time and when your mind begins to wander, gently bring your focus back to your breathing. Its as easy as that!

6. Deliberately Choose Positive Thoughts -- Its important to realize that although you cannot control everything around you, you can control your own thoughts and reactions to outside stimuli. When you notice negative thoughts creeping in, pivot to a more positive, better feeling thought of something you would prefer. The key here is to think about what you DO want vs. what you do not want.

7. Have Faith -- People with faith are generally happier and more relaxed because they know that they are not alone. Learning to have faith, letting go and trusting that all will be well will lead to a deep sense of inner peace and to all you've been dreaming of.

Most of all remember that you are supposed to be happy and that the purpose of life if joy!

"Terri Marshall is the owner of Tranquility Bay Relaxation Therapy & Wellness Coaching in Annapolis, Maryland. She is a Relaxation Therapist, Certified Stress Management Specialist, Self-Care Counselor, Life and Wellness Coach.
Terri specializes in individual and group Relaxation Therapy sessions which are combined with counseling/coaching for a truly holistic approach to relaxation and wellness. In addition, she offers telephone consultations and gift certificates which make great gifts for family and friends.
Be sure to look for her upcoming Relaxation Therapy book "Real-Life Relaxation . . . A Practical Guide to Fun and Easy Stress Relief". Terri can be reached at http://www.tranquilitybaywellness.com"

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How Long Term Stress Can Cost You Your Life
By Mairead Russell
It is a well known fact that long term stress has a compounding effect on the body leading to mental or physical damage. Due to the nature of the stress response, continual long term stress can result in heart disease and heart attack.

The autonomic nervous system affects and controls every organ in the body and it has two branches. The sympathetic nervous system is the one that helps us deal with stressful situations, resulting in the 'fight or flight' response by releasing cortisol and adrenaline into the body which increases heart beat and blood pressure whilst giving us a surge of energy, thus preparing us for action.

However once the danger or perceived threat is over then the parasympathetic nervous system takes over decreasing the heart rate and relaxing the blood vessels, bringing our body back to 'normal'. A typical stress response is 'action' followed by 'relaxation'.

Unfortunately though there are times when the sympathetic system stays on guard due to a persistent perceived danger (anxiety/stress) and when this happens the person is unable to relax. If the parasympathetic system is not allowed to take over to reduce the heart rate and relax the blood vessels, then extra strain is put on the heart. If this is sustained for a long period it can aggravate heart disease and cause damage to, or block arteries (angina).

Prolonged stress can also give rise to other symptoms such as high cholesterol, inflammatory disorders etc, all of which can further increase the strain on the heart leading to further wear and tear which inevitably can lead to heart failure/heart attack. The more susceptible you are to stress the more likely you are to suffer from these side effects and the more susceptible you are to heart attack.

Our bodies are designed to withstand short term occasional stress and can on occasion withstand a lot of pressure, short term. However it cannot withstand long term, continual stress which can ultimately cost you your life. The earlier you take your stress seriously and take proactive measures, the less likely you are to suffer any long term ill effects and the likelihood of heart failure.

Long term or prolonged stress is also responsible for causing depression, high blood pressure, diabetes, some forms of cancer, insomnia, IBS, eczema, mood swings, weight loss, chronic head aches, memory problems, stroke and decreased sexual drive and resistance to allergens.

The question you need to ask is, are you worth it? If so then enlist some help - see a stress management consultant or get started on your own stress management course. There is plenty of information available in books and on the internet. Your health is your responsibility - take the right step today and reduce the stress in your life today.

Mairead Russell is a qualified and registered hypnotherapist (GHR) who works in the Central Manchester area. Mairead specializes in emotional and bevioural issues, including depression, anxiety disorders and stress. Mairead also has success in smoking cessation and weight loss. For further information please visit her web site http://www.mcrhypnotherapy.com or email at mairead@mcrhypnotherapy.com

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Parents Can Help Student to Reduce Stress
By Luka Dobravc
It is commonly known that college students are constantly stressed therefore it is important for parents to help them cope with that stress. Every parent should know how to reduce stress in their child and how to help him cope with it. Students should not be left alone in their endless battle with stress, they should get support from their parents, relatives and friends.

How can parents help to reduce stress?

* First important factor is that parents and students have good communication. They have to talk like adults and rationally resolve existing problems or disputes.
* Pay special attention towards your child - It is important to recognize students problems and to notice student stress in early stages. If problem is not resolved it may have severe consequences which result in more stress.
* Do not put too much pressure on your child. It is better not too expect too much of the student because you could inflict even more stress. Be realistic in your expectations and concentrate on reachable goals.
* Do not plan the studying activities and schedule for your child. You have to let this decision to student as he is the only one that knows how to plan the schedule and achieve best productivity.
* Explain your child that every adult person has to cope with stress, show him how to do it and help him to reduce it.
* Encourage your child to exercise regularly as this is successful stress relief technique. This will improve his energy levels and help him to release stress out of the body.
* Make sure that your child is sleeping properly. Student has to sleep well for about 6-8 hours, his body has to get enough rest so they can perform normally the next day.
* Improve the nutrition of your child. Ensure that it includes eating enough fruits and vegetables, food should be low-fat, low-sugar and with low levels of caffeine. Avoiding such food will improve its brain functioning.
* When your child achieves one of the goals he set, you have to show him that this was only one step on his way to success. Achieved goal should be acknowledged and respected while the attention has to be directed towards other goals that student has to reach.

As a parent you have to be supportive and help your child to reduce stress. We should not underestimate how important families can be in terms of motivation and inspiration but encourage the parents to support students efforts to reduce stress.

If you do not know where to begin you might want to know what is student stress and how stress affects student productivity. Start helping your child now on his path to a better future.

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