Jobs and CareersHow to Easily Persuade People to Eagerly Give You What You Want - Every Time
By George Hutton
If you've ever been involved in any kind of sales, you know how much anxiety it can cause. Rejection is one of people's biggest fears, and can cause incredible emotional unease. It's no secret that the turnover rates in various sales industries are incredibly high. People start in sales jobs with hopes of big commissions and paychecks, but when they realize how often they are told "No," their dreams turn into a painful unrealized fantasy. Even if you aren't in sales, you can imagine how much rejection can hurt. Asking a girl or guy out, asking for a raise at work, even asking for something that is not on the menu at a restaurant can be nerve wracking for most of us.
But when you think about, your success in life is in direct proportion to how well you can persuade others. No matter what your job. Teachers need to persuade students, managers need to persuade workers, and even parents need to persuade kids. Most people, whenever they begin to communicate a persuasive message, begin to feel anxious and nervous, because of that big ugly rejection that might come their way. But it doesn't have to be that way. There is a simple technique that you can use to easily slip your ideas into other people's minds so that they think they are their own. These might sound manipulative and tricky, and it can be. But as long as you use this with respect and with an intention for both parties to come out ahead, you'll be fine.
The trick is to elicit and leverage criteria. OK that sounds kind of technical, so lets break it down. Criteria are anything that is important to somebody. It's usually used in a specific context. For example, my criteria for a good cup of coffee are strong, and black. My criteria for a hamburger are big, and greasy. Other criteria are not really context specific. These are generally the same for most people. Happiness, safety, and recognition are the generally the biggest. In order to elicit them, just ask questions that get the person saying "yes" in the direction you want, and agree with whatever they say.
For example:
You like do be happy, don't you?
Yes.
I agree.
It's good to feel happy, isn't it?
Yes.
Me too.
So how do you leverage these? First understand that people will always act in their own best interests. Even when they are doing something they hate, it is usually because they imagine the alternative is something they hate even more. So what you do is take their criteria, and convince them that they will get achieve it, or at least get closer to achieving it by doing what you want.
Good salespeople do this all the time. They ask what is important to you in a particular product, then go on to demonstrate that the particular product they happen to be selling has all those characteristics. If they do that, then buying their product is a no brainer. Beware though, this can be easily misused. Simply asking people what is important to them is enough to cause may people to imagine that you have what they want, when you really don't. If you abuse this, the laws of karma will surely come after you.
I've written many more popular articles on different aspects of this on my blog, and talk about them in my videos. You can come by the take a look to learn more, so you can easily achieve what you want. It's really amazing how easy it is to get what you want, when you simply ask the right way.
George Hutton is a widely read author and blogger who writes inspirational and life changing articles. You can join many others who read daily at http://www.georgehutton.net/wordpress
You can also view his videos at
http://www.youtube.com/georgewhutton
=================
Building Habits 15 Minutes at a Time
By Christine Ng
We often dream, make plans and set goals. However, how often do we actually achieve our dreams, complete our plans and fulfill our goals? More often than not, we start off excitedly, then slow down a little because we are tired, and finally get so overwhelmed by the many tasks that we have fallen behind on that our dreams and plans come to a halt. Sometimes, it takes more than pure motivation to move forward, and we need a structure to create our pathway to success. This structure is known as habit, and we can build our habits 15 minutes a day, and we will be able to work towards our dreams and achieve our goals in no time.
You probably have set your goals and worked through your plans many times already. Now it is time to really review your goals and plans. How realistic and feasible are your goals and plans? Are you trying to do too much in too little time, such that you feel overwhelmed and hence, not able to move forward? Maybe it is time now to re-look at your goals and plans. You can dream big, and place foundations to your dreams to make your 'castles in the air' a reality.
Set your goals with feasible time-lines and achievable targets. With solid goals, you would be able to work out your plans. Break up the tasks into smaller milestones or simpler assignments. Make it easier to work on. Try working on it in 15-minute blocks. You may find yourself being able to work through your tasks feeling more accomplished than overwhelmed.
Establish a habit to just spend 15 minutes on each of your tasks. If you find that you have many things to handle at a go, why not focus on just one main task, breaking it up into smaller achievable assignments that you could accomplish in 15 minutes.
After all, getting 15 minutes of something done is better than getting nothing done at all, isn't it?
Christine Ng is a Professional Coach, helping people achieve their goals, manage personal finances and find their passion in their career. Visit PauseToStart website at http://www.pausetostart.com or Blog at http://aguidetolife.wordpress.com today for resources to living a fulfilling life!
=======================================
Elegant Asking
By Karen Hood-Caddy
"Your wish is my command."
Those of you who have watched the controversial DVD called 'The Secret', will recognize that line. This film proposed the idea that the Universe is like a genie, willing to give us what we want-with one caveat-we have to ask.
Asking is powerful. Often in my coaching work, the person I am working with will tell me how frustrated that something isn't happening, but when I ask how they have put their request out there, they till me they haven't. Or they say, "Not in so many words."
My advice? Ask. Ask early, often and elegantly.
The reason I say ask early is that sometimes people don't ask until they are so frustrated that the asking comes out charged. It can sound like a demand or have a whine to it that will inhibit clean response. Ask early so the request is what I call "charge neutral".
Ask often. I just got an email today with a second request for something. A woman had sent out a group email to several 'creatives' asking for some exercises to give a class she was leading. With the school break happening, I guess none of us answered. Did she stew in resentment? No. She asked again. And guess what, this time, I found the time and replied.
And lastly, ask elegantly. Choosing the right 'language' to wrap your request in can be crucial. Choose process questions that give information rather than a "yes" or "no" response. For example, let's say you want a raise at work. You could just ask for that raise, or you could say, "What do I need to do to be eligible for a raise?" The latter will give you what you need to go forward. Another example would be asking, "How can I help you?" instead of "Can I help you?"
If you'd like a free 30-minute, over the phone, Idea session on how to Ask and Receive more elegantly, click here. There is no obligation beyond this session and you'll get a lot of great ideas and strategies for getting more of what you want and need. Besides, the long distance charges are on me!
Karen Hood-Caddy is a Create-Your-Best Life Coach. She specializes in helping people deal with whatever is in the way of having awesome relationships, successful creative projects and wonderful lives. Visit her website at http://www.personalbest.org and request a complimentary Idea session or sign up for her free newsletter.
==================================
Talking Ourselves 'Into' Or 'Out Of' It
By David Michael Martin
Someone once said that most problems in life, talk back. In other words, most of our problems are to do with other people. But I think that most of the problems we have in life, start earlier than that, I think they start with the conversations that we have with ourselves, in our minds. And that what we experience in the outside world is largely a reflection of what is happening inside ourselves.
We look out at the world & we talk to ourselves about what we see. We sit inside of ourselves & we chat to ourselves about everything; what we like, what we dislike what we agree with or disagree with; you might be sitting out there now, doing exactly that, about everything I've written here. And the quality of those conversations, will color our decisions.
It's been estimated that people talk to themselves at about 450 words per minute. And that the average vocabulary is between 50 to 100 commonly used words. The conversations that people have with each other are generally edited versions of what they say to themselves. People are generally much blunter and harsher, with themselves. And when you hear how some people speak to their family or peers, it really makes me wonder what they must be saying to themselves.
Most self talk is either questions or statements. It's them asking themselves questions or casting judgments on X. The question I ask is around the quality of those questions and statements are they useful and empowering or useless and destructive?
Remember your brain is one of the most powerful computers in existence. It has an exponentially massive data base of possibilities and stored information. But, as when using a search engine on the internet, if you type in the wrong question, that search engine will give you thousands if not millions, of wrong unsupportive and unhelpful answers.
Even the tone of voice that a person might use with themselves is important. The volume, pitch and speed. Angry, name calling condescending, victimized or confident. All of these resonate and have meaning, within a persons mind.
Some people are very hard on themselves, you'll hear them say things like; "I'm dumb," "I always get it wrong," " I'm useless," "Why is this happening to me?" These kinds of affirmations especially if said with real passion are very destructive and reinforce any existing disempowering beliefs.
Whoever said, that sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me, didn't quite get it right. A question I ask is; if you had a friend who talked to you, the way you talk to you, would you still be their friend? Most people would answer no. Yet they keep doing it to themselves, and it feeds their dislike of themselves & erodes their self esteem and potential.
Lastly; and at first glance this may seem a bit odd, But I ask "who's voice" do they hear? Is it their voice, is it Mum's voice, Is it Dad's, or is it someone else who was important to you when you were growing up? If what you hear them saying is useful, great, but if its not....
Here's a question for all of the Parents out there. Have you every caught yourself saying something to your kids, that your parents said to you as a kid, that you promised yourself, you would never say? I teach people how to tip the balance back in their favor and those results are reflected in their day to day experiences, the achievement of their goals and their quality of life.
Back to Decision Making
Let's come all the way back to decision making. We've talked about how all of these things influence our decisions, so decision making is a key ingredient right! So the question has to be asked, If I make better decisions will I get more of what I want?
The answer is, Yes and No.
Yes because good decision making is a key ingredient, and Yes because better decision making generally leads to better results and No because our decision making is greatly influenced and guided by what we already believe to be true and how we store and organize those beliefs.
In other words, what we imagine we are capable or incapable of. And if those thoughts and feelings aren't useful and supportive, THAT'S where most people get stuck! Or they get to a "Point of Choice" where they can go either left or right and instead of making a clean decision, they make an automatic decision based on their existing rules.
Learn to create better "rules" for yourself at...http://www.core-resourcing.com
David Martin is a Top Performance Coach based in New Zealand
He is co-founder of Core-Resourcing.com - a personal development company created to help people make massive and lasting personal transformations.
By George Hutton
If you've ever been involved in any kind of sales, you know how much anxiety it can cause. Rejection is one of people's biggest fears, and can cause incredible emotional unease. It's no secret that the turnover rates in various sales industries are incredibly high. People start in sales jobs with hopes of big commissions and paychecks, but when they realize how often they are told "No," their dreams turn into a painful unrealized fantasy. Even if you aren't in sales, you can imagine how much rejection can hurt. Asking a girl or guy out, asking for a raise at work, even asking for something that is not on the menu at a restaurant can be nerve wracking for most of us.
But when you think about, your success in life is in direct proportion to how well you can persuade others. No matter what your job. Teachers need to persuade students, managers need to persuade workers, and even parents need to persuade kids. Most people, whenever they begin to communicate a persuasive message, begin to feel anxious and nervous, because of that big ugly rejection that might come their way. But it doesn't have to be that way. There is a simple technique that you can use to easily slip your ideas into other people's minds so that they think they are their own. These might sound manipulative and tricky, and it can be. But as long as you use this with respect and with an intention for both parties to come out ahead, you'll be fine.
The trick is to elicit and leverage criteria. OK that sounds kind of technical, so lets break it down. Criteria are anything that is important to somebody. It's usually used in a specific context. For example, my criteria for a good cup of coffee are strong, and black. My criteria for a hamburger are big, and greasy. Other criteria are not really context specific. These are generally the same for most people. Happiness, safety, and recognition are the generally the biggest. In order to elicit them, just ask questions that get the person saying "yes" in the direction you want, and agree with whatever they say.
For example:
You like do be happy, don't you?
Yes.
I agree.
It's good to feel happy, isn't it?
Yes.
Me too.
So how do you leverage these? First understand that people will always act in their own best interests. Even when they are doing something they hate, it is usually because they imagine the alternative is something they hate even more. So what you do is take their criteria, and convince them that they will get achieve it, or at least get closer to achieving it by doing what you want.
Good salespeople do this all the time. They ask what is important to you in a particular product, then go on to demonstrate that the particular product they happen to be selling has all those characteristics. If they do that, then buying their product is a no brainer. Beware though, this can be easily misused. Simply asking people what is important to them is enough to cause may people to imagine that you have what they want, when you really don't. If you abuse this, the laws of karma will surely come after you.
I've written many more popular articles on different aspects of this on my blog, and talk about them in my videos. You can come by the take a look to learn more, so you can easily achieve what you want. It's really amazing how easy it is to get what you want, when you simply ask the right way.
George Hutton is a widely read author and blogger who writes inspirational and life changing articles. You can join many others who read daily at http://www.georgehutton.net/wordpress
You can also view his videos at
http://www.youtube.com/georgewhutton
=================
Building Habits 15 Minutes at a Time
By Christine Ng
We often dream, make plans and set goals. However, how often do we actually achieve our dreams, complete our plans and fulfill our goals? More often than not, we start off excitedly, then slow down a little because we are tired, and finally get so overwhelmed by the many tasks that we have fallen behind on that our dreams and plans come to a halt. Sometimes, it takes more than pure motivation to move forward, and we need a structure to create our pathway to success. This structure is known as habit, and we can build our habits 15 minutes a day, and we will be able to work towards our dreams and achieve our goals in no time.
You probably have set your goals and worked through your plans many times already. Now it is time to really review your goals and plans. How realistic and feasible are your goals and plans? Are you trying to do too much in too little time, such that you feel overwhelmed and hence, not able to move forward? Maybe it is time now to re-look at your goals and plans. You can dream big, and place foundations to your dreams to make your 'castles in the air' a reality.
Set your goals with feasible time-lines and achievable targets. With solid goals, you would be able to work out your plans. Break up the tasks into smaller milestones or simpler assignments. Make it easier to work on. Try working on it in 15-minute blocks. You may find yourself being able to work through your tasks feeling more accomplished than overwhelmed.
Establish a habit to just spend 15 minutes on each of your tasks. If you find that you have many things to handle at a go, why not focus on just one main task, breaking it up into smaller achievable assignments that you could accomplish in 15 minutes.
After all, getting 15 minutes of something done is better than getting nothing done at all, isn't it?
Christine Ng is a Professional Coach, helping people achieve their goals, manage personal finances and find their passion in their career. Visit PauseToStart website at http://www.pausetostart.com or Blog at http://aguidetolife.wordpress.com today for resources to living a fulfilling life!
=======================================
Elegant Asking
By Karen Hood-Caddy
"Your wish is my command."
Those of you who have watched the controversial DVD called 'The Secret', will recognize that line. This film proposed the idea that the Universe is like a genie, willing to give us what we want-with one caveat-we have to ask.
Asking is powerful. Often in my coaching work, the person I am working with will tell me how frustrated that something isn't happening, but when I ask how they have put their request out there, they till me they haven't. Or they say, "Not in so many words."
My advice? Ask. Ask early, often and elegantly.
The reason I say ask early is that sometimes people don't ask until they are so frustrated that the asking comes out charged. It can sound like a demand or have a whine to it that will inhibit clean response. Ask early so the request is what I call "charge neutral".
Ask often. I just got an email today with a second request for something. A woman had sent out a group email to several 'creatives' asking for some exercises to give a class she was leading. With the school break happening, I guess none of us answered. Did she stew in resentment? No. She asked again. And guess what, this time, I found the time and replied.
And lastly, ask elegantly. Choosing the right 'language' to wrap your request in can be crucial. Choose process questions that give information rather than a "yes" or "no" response. For example, let's say you want a raise at work. You could just ask for that raise, or you could say, "What do I need to do to be eligible for a raise?" The latter will give you what you need to go forward. Another example would be asking, "How can I help you?" instead of "Can I help you?"
If you'd like a free 30-minute, over the phone, Idea session on how to Ask and Receive more elegantly, click here. There is no obligation beyond this session and you'll get a lot of great ideas and strategies for getting more of what you want and need. Besides, the long distance charges are on me!
Karen Hood-Caddy is a Create-Your-Best Life Coach. She specializes in helping people deal with whatever is in the way of having awesome relationships, successful creative projects and wonderful lives. Visit her website at http://www.personalbest.org and request a complimentary Idea session or sign up for her free newsletter.
==================================
Talking Ourselves 'Into' Or 'Out Of' It
By David Michael Martin
Someone once said that most problems in life, talk back. In other words, most of our problems are to do with other people. But I think that most of the problems we have in life, start earlier than that, I think they start with the conversations that we have with ourselves, in our minds. And that what we experience in the outside world is largely a reflection of what is happening inside ourselves.
We look out at the world & we talk to ourselves about what we see. We sit inside of ourselves & we chat to ourselves about everything; what we like, what we dislike what we agree with or disagree with; you might be sitting out there now, doing exactly that, about everything I've written here. And the quality of those conversations, will color our decisions.
It's been estimated that people talk to themselves at about 450 words per minute. And that the average vocabulary is between 50 to 100 commonly used words. The conversations that people have with each other are generally edited versions of what they say to themselves. People are generally much blunter and harsher, with themselves. And when you hear how some people speak to their family or peers, it really makes me wonder what they must be saying to themselves.
Most self talk is either questions or statements. It's them asking themselves questions or casting judgments on X. The question I ask is around the quality of those questions and statements are they useful and empowering or useless and destructive?
Remember your brain is one of the most powerful computers in existence. It has an exponentially massive data base of possibilities and stored information. But, as when using a search engine on the internet, if you type in the wrong question, that search engine will give you thousands if not millions, of wrong unsupportive and unhelpful answers.
Even the tone of voice that a person might use with themselves is important. The volume, pitch and speed. Angry, name calling condescending, victimized or confident. All of these resonate and have meaning, within a persons mind.
Some people are very hard on themselves, you'll hear them say things like; "I'm dumb," "I always get it wrong," " I'm useless," "Why is this happening to me?" These kinds of affirmations especially if said with real passion are very destructive and reinforce any existing disempowering beliefs.
Whoever said, that sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me, didn't quite get it right. A question I ask is; if you had a friend who talked to you, the way you talk to you, would you still be their friend? Most people would answer no. Yet they keep doing it to themselves, and it feeds their dislike of themselves & erodes their self esteem and potential.
Lastly; and at first glance this may seem a bit odd, But I ask "who's voice" do they hear? Is it their voice, is it Mum's voice, Is it Dad's, or is it someone else who was important to you when you were growing up? If what you hear them saying is useful, great, but if its not....
Here's a question for all of the Parents out there. Have you every caught yourself saying something to your kids, that your parents said to you as a kid, that you promised yourself, you would never say? I teach people how to tip the balance back in their favor and those results are reflected in their day to day experiences, the achievement of their goals and their quality of life.
Back to Decision Making
Let's come all the way back to decision making. We've talked about how all of these things influence our decisions, so decision making is a key ingredient right! So the question has to be asked, If I make better decisions will I get more of what I want?
The answer is, Yes and No.
Yes because good decision making is a key ingredient, and Yes because better decision making generally leads to better results and No because our decision making is greatly influenced and guided by what we already believe to be true and how we store and organize those beliefs.
In other words, what we imagine we are capable or incapable of. And if those thoughts and feelings aren't useful and supportive, THAT'S where most people get stuck! Or they get to a "Point of Choice" where they can go either left or right and instead of making a clean decision, they make an automatic decision based on their existing rules.
Learn to create better "rules" for yourself at...http://www.core-resourcing.com
David Martin is a Top Performance Coach based in New Zealand
He is co-founder of Core-Resourcing.com - a personal development company created to help people make massive and lasting personal transformations.
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